CSI Commercials
by katyrye
Summary: CSI's ... in commercials. What else do we need?
1. Chapter 1

Note from Katyrye:

This is an old story that I found on my live journal account under the name CSI Supervisor. I am posting it again with hopes that I can tweak it or reminisce about old stories. I love writing, but I am also a review whore. If you are on facebook, like my page. Have a good day

~~(((~~

Tittle: CSI Commercials  
>Author: Your Supervisor<br>Chapter: One  
>Rated: G<br>Disclaimer: Is my name Katy Grissom? Well, then there's your answer

**Mastercard**

Greg Sanders walked into his supervisor's office and sat at the desk, kicking back and crossing his legs as he did so. Greg looked at the camera and smiled.

"Fancy microscope... seven thousand dollars." he said, picking up a microscope.

"Warming lamps for insects...two thousand dollars." he said, extending his arm and presenting the warming lamps.

"Rare species of spider ... five hundred dollars." he said, picking up a display case of spiders.

"Using your supervisor's credit card to order-" Greg started.

"Greg, is that my MasterCard!?" Gil Grissom asked, storming into his office.

"Wait, I can explain!" Greg said.

_Ten Minutes later_

"Giving Greg decomp duty...priceless. There are something's money can't buy. For everything else, there's _MasterCard_," Gil Grissom said.

**Bounty**

"Scrub, scrub!" Warrick Brown shouted.

The Graveyard team was on their knees in Ecklie's office, scrubbing the carpet.

"It won't come up Rick," Nick Stokes said, throwing his sponge down.

"War, why did you shoot him ?" Gil Grissom asked.

"Just because he pissed me off," Warrick growled.

"So how do you propose we get this up," Sara Sidle asked.

"Oh oh!" Greg Sanders said, jumping to his feet.

The team sat back on their heels and looked at each other.

"Guess he had to pee," Grissom said.

Soon Greg rushed back into the room with a roll of paper towels.

Catherine Willows arched her eyebrows. "Greg we appreciate your enthusiasm, but I have a feeling paper towels won't cut it." she said.

"These are _Bounty _paper towels. The quicker picker upper," he said, tearing off a sheet and setting it on the floor.

**Fruity Pebbles**

Nick and Warrick were running down the halls of the lab, ducking people and weaving in and out of rooms. Warrick Brown had a bowl in his hand and he wasn't about to stop. They rounded a corner and saw Catherine Willows walk out of the locker room.

"Ahhhhh!" she screamed as Warrick pushed past her.

"Warrick, give me my fruity pebbles!" Nick shouted.

**Reese's Peanut Butter Cups**

"How do you eat a _Reeses_ peanut butter cup?" Nick Stokes asked, sitting down at the break room table.

"I put it under a microscope and smash and then I eat it." Greg Ganders offered.

"I dissect it." Gil Grissom offered.

"I light mine on fire." Warrick Brown said.

"I shoot mine." Sara Sidle said.

"I run over mine with the Denali." Catherine said.

"I interrogate mine." Jim Brass said.

Nick Stokes blinked. "Wow, I guess there really is more than one way to eat a_ Reese's_."

**Zellers**

"So, how are you liking Canada." Gil Grissom asked his wife, Sara.

"I love it. I can't wait to go to Canada's Wonderland tomorrow. I got everything we'll need at Zellers." Sara said.

Grissom cocked his head. "Zellers, we don't have those in America."

Sara shook her head. "Oh, but we should. They have everything from the latest CD to the diapers we need." Sara said, holding up her Zellers bag.

"Wow, Zellers has everything." Grissom said.

"From A to Z." Sara said with a smile.

**Snuggle**

Sara Sidle walked into the utility area of her apartment and dropped her basket of laundry. She let out a terrified scream and Gil Grissom rushed into the room.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking at the spilled laundry.

Sara pointed a shaking finger towards the washing machine. "What is that?" she asked.

Gil followed her finger and gasped. On top of the washing machine sat a small brown teddy bear, its wide eyes were looking from Grissom to Sara.

"I think it's the _Snuggle _bear." he said, grabbing her laundry basket and the broom.

The bear on the washing machine grabbed a blanket and inhaled the scent of fabric softener. "Breath deep." it said in its high pitched voice.

Gil Grissom was shaking in fear as he walked up to the washing machine and knocked the bear onto the floor.

"Hey, what the-" it screamed.

Sara slammed the basket on top of the bear and they slid the basket out onto the back patio.

**Hallmark**

"Merry Christmas!" Catherine Willows sang, opening the front door.

"Merry Christmas!" Nick Stokes and Jim Brass replied, stepping into the house.

"Everyone's in the living room." Catherine said, waving them into the house.

Nick Stokes pulled out an envelope and handed it to Catherine. "It's not much." he said.

Catherine smiled and opened the card, read it, and flipped it over. "It's _Hallmark _." she said, wiping her eyes.

**Hamburger Helper**

"Albert, what is that on your hand?" Gil Grissom asked.

Doc Robbins looked at his hand and smiled. "Gil, this is the _Hamburger Helper _helping hand," he said, sliding the skillet of food onto the table.

Nick Stokes shook his head. "That thing's creepy." he said.

**Secret**

Catherine Willows walked into the locker room and sighed.

"What's wrong?" Sara Sidle asked, sitting down on the bench beside her.

"Sara, do you ever feel not so fresh?" she asked her friend.

Sara smiled. "I have days like that, on this job you always feel a little unsure." she said.

Catherine hung her head. "Today I feel my deodorant letting me down." she said.

Sara nodded and opened her locker. "Have you tried _Secret_?" she asked.

Catherine shook her head and took the blue stick of deodorant. "How is _Secret _any different?" she asked.

Sara sat back down. "Unlike the other products, _Secret _goes on smooth and doesn't leave residue. It also lasts all day." she said.

"Wow, so it's strong enough for a man-" Catherine started.

Sara nodded. "But made for a woman." Sara finished.

**Flinstone Chewable Vitamins**

When they heard the crash Gil Grissom and Greg Sanders rushed into the lab to find David Hodges hunched over his stool.

"Ohhhh." he groaned.

"Hodges, do you need a personal day?" Grissom asked.

Hodges shrugged slightly and Greg and Grissom hoisted him back into sitting position.

"I haven't been feeling like myself lately." Hodges admitted.

Grissom looked at Greg and the two men nodded. "Hodges, have you been taking your _Flinstone __chewable vitamins_?" Greg asked, placing his hand lightly on Hodges back.

Hodges sadly shook his head and held out his hand. Grissom tapped a chewable vitamin into his palm and Hodges popped it into his mouth. Suddenly he had a burst of energy and started t run fingerprints.

"That's the most work he has done all week!" Greg exclaimed.

Grissom nodded. "Yep, a million strong and growing."

**Geico (3)**

Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle scanned the brochure, looking for insurance.

"How do we know we're making the right choice?" Sara whispered.

A little voice cleared it's throat and the couple looked down at a small lizard.

"I may be able to help a little." the Australian lizard said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Geico ( #2)**

Gil Grissom sat on the break room couch eating a salad; he had the TV turned on and was relaxing. He took a bite of his salad and rolled his eyes at a _Geico_ commercial.

"_Geico, _so easy an entomologist can do it," The announcer said with a smile.

Grissom put down his fork and frowned. "What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" he yelled.

**Levitra**

Catherine Willows and Sara Sidle walked up to a crying Conrad Ecklie. Sara knelt down and patted his back.

"What's wrong, Ecklie?" She asked.

Ecklie sniffed and looked at the two women. "I'm afraid I can't satisfy my girlfriend," He cried.

Catherine looked at Sara and they nodded.

"Conrad," Catherine said. "Have you tried _Levitra_?"

Ecklie shook his head. "What's _Levitra_?" He asked them.

Sara smiled. "_Levitra _is for men with ED. You shouldn't be afraid Ecklie, a lot of men have it," She said.

Ecklie looked up. "You mean, Gil-" He started.

Sara shook her head. "No, he's perfect."

Catherine continued. "Unlike _Viagra, Levetra _waits until you're ready. It lasts up to eight hours."

Ecklie looked at the camera and smiled. "_Levetra_, ready when you're ready."

**Skittles**

Even though Gil Grissom was talking, Sara Sidle found herself bored beyond belief. She looked at her friend Warrick Brown ;he looked bored too. Sara kicked him lightly and pulled out a bag of _Skittles. _Warrick nodded and held out his hand, Sara poured and she put one in her own mouth.

"One more thing, we had some compl-," Grissom stopped mid-sentence when he was hit in the head with a _Skittle._

"Who threw this?" he asked.

The team shook their heads. Sara poured her handful into her mouth, attempting to hide them. Suddenly, a rainbow appeared and it began to rain _Skittles _in the lab.

"Wow!" Greg Sanders said, holding out his hands to catch them.

"Sara...not again." Grissom said, dumping his coffee in the sink.

Sara grinned. "Taste the rainbow." she said with a shrug.

**Herbal Essence**

Gil Grissom couldn't believe what he was hearing, He put his ear against the bathroom door and gasped.

"mmmm... yessss!" he heard.

He put his fist in his mouth and fought against barging in and pulling the mystery person out of the shower.

"Yess...yesss...yesss." Sara cried.

Grissom couldn't take it anymore. I opened the bathroom door and saw Sara Sidle standing there with fluffy, radiant hair.

"What's wrong, Gil?" Sara asked.

Grissom shook his head. "Nothing. Are you alone in here?" He asked.

Sara looked behind her. "You're in here." she said.

Grissom nodded and closed the door.

Sara laughed and put away her bottle of _Herbal Essence._

**Serta**

"Oh Gil, this mattress is so soft." Sara sighed, snuggling into the mattress.

"I'm glad you like it." he said.

"We don't like it." The couple heard behind them.

"Gil, who are they?" Sara asked pointing at a herd of fluffy white sheep with numbers painted on their sides.

"We're the _Serta_ counting sheep, and you're comfy new mattress has put us out business. People use to count us, now we're just getting by" said one with a big '17' on it's side said.

"Gil, get them out of here." Sara said.

Gil Grissom stood up with a rolled up magazine. "Go, on... shoo!" he said.

**Orbit**

David Hodges was carrying the bucket towards the sink in the lab, he could smell the gastric fumes rising up from out of the bowl. Just then Greg Sanders ran into him and the bowl, making it fly upwards and into the faces of the two men.

"Gross!" David Hodges said, spitting.

"Disgusting!" Greg yelled.

A blond woman standing to the side smiled her bright white smile.

"Dirty mouth?" She said.

The two men nodded. The woman held up a pack of gum.

"Try new _Orbit."_

The men slid a stick of _Orbit i_nto their mouths and smiled.

"_Orbit _cleans another dirty mouth."

**Hanes**

Catherine Willows and Sara Sidle sat in the break room, waiting for an assignment, bored beyond belief. Nick Stokes walked by with a cup of coffee, and suddenly Catherine had the urge to ask a question as old as time.

"Sara, do you think Nick wears boxers or briefs?" she asked.

Sara raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Briefs." she said with a nod.

Both women laughed and Warrick Brown walked by, reading a DNA report.

"Boxers." Catherine said.

Sara nodded, Warrick looked like a 'Boxers' man. Soon Gil Grissom rushed by.

"Boxers." Sara said.

The women laughed again, they were having fun. Soon Jim Brass walked by.

"Ummm.." Catherine said tilting her head.

"Uhhhh." Sara said, chewing her lip.

Brass turned to the ladies and smiled. "It's _Hanes_." he said.

**Cocoa Puffs**

Gil Grissom couldn't believe what he was seeing; Greg Sanders had lost his mind. He was jumping around the break room, throwing the couch cushions and yelling like a wild animal.

"Greg!," Grissom shouted, setting his coffee down. "What the HELL is the matter with you?"

Greg didn't answer; he jumped on the break room table and started to dance.

"What's wrong with Greg?" Sara Sidle asked, stepping into the break room.

"I'm cuckoo for _cocoa puffs_!" He yelled, pouring all the coffee on the floor.

**Barbie Dream house**

"What are you playing with there, Hodges?" Nick Stokes asked, walking into the DNA lab.

David Hodges' head shot up and he turned to hide something. "Nothing." he said, quickly.

"Oh my god," Warrick Brown said, stepping into the lab. "It's a _Barbie_ dream house._"_

"Um, it's for my niece." Hodges said, nodding.

"I don't think so man. I says 'Property of David Hodges' on the side." Nick said, pointing.

"Can we play?" Warrick asked, opening one of the windows.

"No, it's my dream house, where all my dreams come true." Hodges said.

**Always**

Catherine Willows walked up to the camera and smiled.

"My periods are tough, and to be honest I can't have the worries of leaking." She said.

She opened her locker and pulled out a box of _Always._

"Have a happy period with _Always._" She said with a smile.

**Trix**

"Give it back!" Greg Sander shouted to Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown.

Warrick Brown was holding a bowl of _Trix._

Just then Lindsey Willows walked up and snatched the bowl.

"You silly Rabbit, _Trix_ are for kids." she yelled, walking away.

**Trojan ( a little racy, kids)**

Sara Sidle wiped her forehead and sighed. She was hot, not only from the heat, but from her steamy lover, Gil Grissom.

"Gil," Sara purred once they climbed into the car.

"What my beautiful butterfly." Grissom said.

"How about we go home and cool off," Sara said, sliding her hand up Grissom's leg.

"Let's not cool down too much." He said.

"Are you two prepared?" Came a voice from the back seat.

Grissom and Sara turned around and gasped.

"Trojan man, what are you doing here?" They asked.

"I'm just here to talk to you two about protection." The figure said.

"Get out of my car." Grissom said, popping the locks.

"I was just-" The man said.

"Now." Grissom growled.


	3. Chapter 3

**Burger King**

Greg Sanders stretched out in bed and rolled over to look at his alarm clock. Instead of seeing a clock, he saw the plastic face of a king grinning back at him. Greg shot up in bed and the burger king sat up as well.

"What the hell are you doing in my apartment?" he asked.

The king didn't reply, he simply held up a silver platter with a breakfast sandwich on it.

**Preparation H**

"Now if you see here," Conrad Ecklie said, pointing a laser pointer to the screen. "Our labs expenses

have been up."

Conrad wiggled for a moment and then turned his attention back to the screen. Gil Grissom tried to hide his amusement, hiding his smile behind his coffee.

"Money's tight people and until we get another grant, we have to keep it down. Try and use the simplest things first, like finger print analysis." he said, wiggling again.

Catherine Willows elbowed Grissom and smiled. "He should have used Preparation H." she said.

**Three Musketeers**

Nick Stokes sat down on the break room couch and smiled; he had been waiting all shift to enjoy a candy bar. He walked over to the vending machine, put his coins in, and selected a _Three Musketeers _bar. He hummed to himself as her reached into the machine and took his candy bar.

"Hey!" he shouted as the candy bar began to float up in the air.

**Fisher Price**

"Look at Hodges go." Nick Stokes said, giving Hodges a thumbs up.

Grissom nodded. "I bought him a developmental Fisher Price chemistry set." he said.

The two mean watched as David Hodges matched the colors and shapes.

"Play, laugh, grow." Nick said.

**Easy-Bake Oven**

"Sara, that cake smells wonderful. I can't wait to have a piece." Greg Sanders said as the CSI graveyard shift gathered around Sara and Gil Grissom's kitchen table. It was Grissom's birthday and Sara had thrown him a wonderful party.

"Thanks, it's all ready guys." Sara said with a smile, setting a tiny plate on the table.

Nick Stokes looked at the cake and scratched his head. "Sara, umm... did it shrink?" he asked, pointing to the small chocolate cake.

Sara blinked and shook her head. "I used my Easy-Bake Oven." she said.

**Cover Girl**

"Wow," Catherine Willows said. "Hodges is looking wonderful today."

The rest of the team nodded and watched as Hodges stopped to their direction.

"Easy, breezy, beautiful. Cover Girl." he said, giving his head a toss.

**Life (cereal)**

Sara Sidle, Nick Stokes and Greg Sanders were all sitting at the break room table with a bowl of cereal between them. Sara and Nick were busy pushing the bowl back and forth.

"I'm not going to try it." she said, pushing the bowl to Nick.

Nick Stokes pushed the bowl back to Sara and shook his head. "I'm not going to try it. You try it."

Sara slowly shook her head and looked over at Greg. "I have an idea, give it to Greg. He'll eat anything." she said, pushing the bowl in front of Greg.

Greg put down the paper he had been reading and looked at the bowl of cereal. He slowly grabbed the spoon and took a big bite. Sara and Nick gasped as he moaned his satisfaction and took another bite.

"He likes it!" Nick said.

**Mr. Potato head**

"Hey Hodges," Gil Grissom said, patting his friend on the back. "What are you playing with there?"

Hodges glared and tucked his toy away. "Nothing." he answered, turning back to his work.

Grissom wrinkled his forehead. "That's funny. I thought I saw you with _Mr. Potato head_." he said.

Hodges rolled his eyes. "Gil, why would I play with such an immature toy?" he asked.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe because I have his bucket of parts." Grissom said, holding up a bucket of _Mr. Potato _head parts.

Hodges couldn't control his joy. "_Mr. Potato _head and his bucket of parts." he sang.

"Buckets of fun for every one." Grissom finished.

**CSI**

"Hey Billy, watcha doing?" George Eads said, walking up to his friend William Petersen.

"Oh hi, George. I am just going through these CD's for the hit band _The Who_." he said, putting a CD back where it belonged.

Just then Marg Helgenberger walked up. "Billy, did you know that _The Who_ does the theme song for that hit show _CSI_?" she asked.

William Petersen shook his head. " I didn't know that. What's the show about?" he asked.

"Well," said Gary Dourdan, as he approached the group of people. "it's about a team of forensic investigators that apply unique techniques to solve mysteries. It's all very complicated."

"Yeah," Said Jorja Fox, who had been listening on another aisle. "my favorite character is Catherine Willows."

"Wow," Petersen said. "I need to check out this show. When does it come on?"

Eric Szmanda approached and put an arm around Petersen. "It airs differently in different places. You may need to check your local listings for show times."

"Wow," Petersen said. "I'm getting really excited."

"_CSI _. Weekdays on CBS." Eric Szmanda said with a smile.

**McDonalds**

"What are you eating Jim?" Greg Sanders asked his friend, Jim Brass.

Jim Bras held up the cheeseburger he was holding. "I'm eating a big and tasty meal from McDonalds." he said with a smile.

Greg cocked his head. "McDonalds?" he asked.

Brass put down his burger. "Don't tell me you've never been to McDonalds." he gasped.

Greg sadly shook his head. "What's the big deal?" he asked.

"The big deal?" Brass said. "Do you know another fast food joint that makes two whole beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions… all on a sesame seed bun?"

Greg shrugged. "I guess I'll have to stop by." he said.

"I'm lovin it." Brass said with a smile.

**Snickers**

"God Sara, I'm starving." Nick Stokes said, setting his case in the back seat.

"Well, I have a _Snickers._" she said, pulling out the candy bar.

Nick smiled and tore the wrapper off the candy bar. Soon toes were tingling as he ate it. When he was done and licked the Carmel off his lips an looked back at Sara.

"Hungry? Grab a _Snickers_." she said, giving him a kiss.

**Kool-aid**

"Oh-yeah."

Gil Grissom stopped in his tracks and looked towards the evidence vault.

"What was that noise?" he asked Hodges, who was standing nearby.

Hodges shrugged. "Are you having hearing problems again?" he asked, taking his file back to his lab.

Grissom was about to turn ad walk away, but he heard it again.

"Oh-yeah."

"That's it," he said, throwing the file on the floor. "Who the hell is making that noise!?"

He walked into the break room and there stood a giant pitcher of _Kool-aid_. The _Kool-aid _pitcher had big beady black eyes and a wide smile.

"Oh yeah." it said.

"Where did that come from?" Grissom asked, pointing at the big pitcher of _Kool-aid_.

Greg and Warrick looked up at the pitcher and shrugged. "We just made _Kool-aid _and he appeared." said.

"Oh yeah." it said.

**Dear Diary**

"You know Conrad," Hodges said. "who do you tell your secrets to?"

The two men were having a slumber party and were tucked into their sleeping bags.

Conrad giggled. "I tell them to my _Dear Diary_." he said, pulling out a purple calculator like object.

"_Dear Diary_?" Hodges asked.

"Yeah, you can tell it your deepest thoughts. And it's password protected." Conrad said

_Two weeks later_

"M-I-L-T-O-N." Nick said as he punched in the password to Ecklie's _Dear Diary._

_Dear Diary,_

_Grissom looked at me today…_

"Hey, Gil." Nick said.

TAKING REQUESTS!


	4. Chapter 4

****

**Midol**

"Sara, come running with me." Catherine Willows said to her friend, Sara Sidle.

"Catherine, I'm so sorry. It's that time of the month and I'm so uncomfortable." Sara replied, frowning at the camera.

Catherine went to her locker and pulled down her purse. "Well, have you tried _Midol?_"

Sara shook her head and took the bottle. "What's _Midol?" _She asked.

"It's for women like us, whose lives don't stop just because Aunt Flow comes knocking. It relieves all your symptoms: bloating, cramps and mood swings." She explained, showing Sara the box.

"What about my fatigue?" Sara asked, tapping a few into her hand.

"It takes care of that too." Catherine said smiling.

Sara looked toward the camera and smiled. "_Midol _it helps relieve your worse menstrual symptoms."

**Aleve**

"Doc, what's wrong?" Greg sanders asked, stepping into the autopsy room.

"It's my arthritis. I'm not as young as I used to be and doing autopsies all day really brings the pain back." Al Roberts said.

"Doc, have you tried _Aleve_?" Greg asked, pulling a bottle out of his pocket.

Doc Robbins shook his head and took the bottle. "I'll try anything, it's becoming hard to hold that scalpel."

"Just two _Aleve _has the strength of six Tylenol._" _Greg said smiling.

Doc took a glass of water and gulped down the two _Aleve. _"You know what Greg, I feel better already. Now lets get to work."

Greg smiled and looked at the camera "_Aleve. _Advance medicine, for pain."

**Kit Kat**

Greg Sanders sat in the break room munching on his chocolate bar, when Nick Stokes and Warrick brown entered the room.

"Dude, what are you eating?" Nick asked, patting his friend on the back.

"Nothing." Greg quickly said, jumping up and hurrying away.

Gil Grissom walked into the room and smiled at Greg. "Hey, a _Kit Kat _bar." he said, shutting the door silently.

"Back off." Greg said, protecting his beloved _Kit Kat _bar.

"Come on man," Warrick said, cornering Greg. " break me off a piece."

"No!" Greg cried.

"Come on Greg." Grissom said.

Greg backed into a corner as his three attackers began to sing.

"Give me a break, give me a break. Break me off a piece of that _Kit Kat_ bar."

**Capitol One**

"Jim, I can't buy that." Sara Sidle said to her friend, Jim Brass.

"Sure you can, let me pay for it." Jim said, taking the stack of books and pulling out his wallet. Behind them a pack of Vikings broke into the store and began to tear down shelves of books.

"Jim! Those high interest rates are really going to cost." Sara said.

"Nonsense, I got the _Capitol One_ hassle free card." Jim said, pulling out his silver card and showing it to the camera.

Suddenly the Vikings stopped and began to straighten the book cases.

"_Capitol One..._What's in your wallet!" Sara and Brass said.

**Milk**

"Greg... not too many." Warrick Brown said as Greg Sanders shoved cookie after cookie into his mouth. Both men were seated in the break room, devouring a plate of cookies.

"I can't help it. They're delicious." He said, licking chocolate off his lips.

"Hey boys." Catherine Willows said, getting down a coffee mug.

"Hey," Gil Grissom said, walking into the room. "We're about to get started so hurry it up." he reached into the cabinet and grabbed his own mug.

"Hey guys." Sara Sidle said, rushing to the fridge.

"Hola amigos." Nick said, grabbing his own mug.

"Helffooo." Greg muttered through a mouth full of cookie.

"Pass me the milk Sara." Nick said.

Sara pulled out the milk and handed it to him. He uncapped it and poured it into his coffee.

"Me too." Grissom said, holding out his mug.

"Yeah, hit me." Said Catherine.

"Me too." Sara said.

Nick poured the milk into all their mugs and they all took a seat.

"Hey," Warrick said. "Do you mind giving us some of that milk?"

"Sure.. oops. It's gone." Nick said, turning the jug upside down.

Greg grabbed his throat and gulped. His mouth was dry and he needed milk.

"Got Milk?" Sara asked.

**KODAK**

"Grissom, I know this is a little odd, but I love you man." Greg Sanders said, standing in Grissom's office doorway.

Gil Grissom opened his mouth and raised his eyebrows. "I'm sorry Greg, I'm kind of taken." he said.

"Not like that," Greg said, waving him off. "You're my best friend."

"Uh, thanks Greg." Grissom said.

Greg walked around Grissom's desk and leaned down to hug him. At that moment, Sara Sidle and Catherine Willows walked into the room. Catherine put her hand to her chest and sighed. The two women walked over to Grissom and joined in the group hug.

"Uh guys, what's going on?" Grissom asked, slightly terrified.

"Shh," Sara said.

Nick stokes appeared in the doorway and snapped a picture. "It's a _Kodak _moment." He said.

**Red Bull**

"Damn it Greg, wake up." Sara Sidle said to her friend, Greg sanders.

"Huh, what?" Greg said, waking up.

When he lifted his head from off the break room table, Sara leaned over and snatched a piece of paper off the side of his face.

"I can't seem to stay awake." Greg said, yawning.

Sara sighed and went to the refrigerator; she pulled out a can of _Red Bull._

"Here." She said, handing him the can.

"Gee thanks. What is it?" He asked.

"It's _Red Bull."_

Greg popped it open and guzzled it down. Soon he began to fly around the room.

Sara looked at the camera and smiled. "_Red bull _gives you wings."

**1800-TERMINEX**

"I've had it with you roaches." Sara Sidle yelled.

The case that the roaches lived in had turned over on it's side and the roaches were skittering across the room. Gil Grissom was going to have a field day.

"I'm calling 1800-Terminex." she said.

**Pringles**

"Hey Jim, what are you doing?" Gil Grissom said, sitting next to his friend.

Jim Brass shook his head and sighed. He wiped his hand on his pants.

"I'm tired of these greasy chips." he said.

Grissom laughed and handed the man a can of chips.

"Jim, have you ever had _Pringles_?" he asked.

Brass shook his head. "No, Gil. I can't say that I have."

"Well, just one _Pringle c_arries less fat than those other brands. And they're not as Greasy." Grissom said.

Brass dug into the can and popped a chip into his mouth. "Hey these are good," he said. "And fun too."

Brass put two chips in his mouth, facing the opposite directions, and quaked like a duck.

"And they come in all these flavors." Grissom said, showing Brass a line of different flavors.

Jim Brass grabbed his bag of chips and threw them away. He grabbed his can of _Pringles _and left.

Grissom looked at the camera and smiled. "_Pringles_, once you pop the fun don't stop."

**Tag (Man's Body Spray)**

David Hodges walked into Gil Grissom's office with his DNA report. Hodges saw that he was having a meeting with Greg Sanders, Catherine Willows, Sara Sidle and Jim Brass. When he entered the room the two women smiled at him and inhaled.

"Griss I have your report." he said, smiling back at the women.

"Thanks can you leave it on the...Sara what are you doing?" Grissom asked.

Sara Sidle had gotten out of her chair and was smiffing Hodges' neck. She inhaled and moved down his body.

"Sara... um... jeez I'm flattered." Hodges said.

"Sara?" Grissom said.

Catherine willows stood up and rushed to hodges, repeating Sara's actions. Brass, Grissom and Greg starred on.

"What in the hell?" Brass said.

"Oh, Hodges. You smell terrific." Sara and Catherine purred.

Grissom stood and marched over to him. He grabbed Sara and Catherine and kicked Hodges out.

"_Tag_ body spray. Consider yourself warned." he said, smiling at the camera.

**Dr. Sholes**

"Hey, Warrick?" Nick Stokes asked his friend Warrick Brown.

"Whats up man?" Warrick asked, turning to his friend.

"Are you jellin?" Nick asked.

"That's what I'm tellin. Hey Cath, Are you jellin?" Nick asked Catherine Willows.

Catherine Willows turned around and smiled. "Dude, I'm so jellin. Hey Gil, you jellin."

Gil Grissom walked up and smiled. "Yes I am." He said.

"I'm jellin." Ecxklie said, walking up.

Everybody stopped and looked at one another.

"You're so not." Warrick said.


	5. Chapter 5

**Swiffer**

"Catherine, what are you doing?" Warrick Brown asked.

Catherine Willows, was on her knees scrubbing the floor with a towel.

"Oh, I just mopped there!" She cried.

"Catherine, why are you on your hands and knees mopping when you can be using the _Swifer: Wet Jet. _It has good scrubbing power and easy disposal."

"Thanks Warrick." She said, taking the mop from his out stretched hand.

Warrick turned to the camera and smiled. "Say good-bye to your mops and buckets. Buy the _Swifer: Wet Jet."_

**Coopertone**

"Nick, it's amazing how your head is hardly burned. Even though we've been out a crime scene all day." Brass said, giving Nick a 'Thumbs-up'.

"Thanks, Jim." Nick said, smiling.

The two men walked into the break room and took a seat at the table.

"Can I ask you your secret?" Jim Brass asked.

"You certainly can," Nick stokes said, milling. "I use _Coppertone, _it's perfect for those hot days and water proof."

"Were can I find _Coppertone_?" Brass asked.

"You can find it in your local drug store or wherever sun protection products are sold." he answered with a smile.

**Nationwide Insurance**

"Jesus Christ!" Gil Grissom exclaimed as he stepped into his office.

His office was in shambles, his papers were burning in a trash can and his window had been broken.

"What happened to my office!?" He yelled to the lab.

David Hodges ran in and surveyed the scene.

"Griss, I've been trying to reach you. Conrad Ecklie went insane and tore the lab apart." he said.

Grissom crouched down and picked up a jar that had pig fetus in it.

"Well, at least Ms. Piggy's sill intact." he said.

"Griss, what are we going to do about the lab? You're in charge now." Hodges said.

Grissom scratched his head and looked around. "Thank God we have _Nationwide._ With their 24-hour assistance we will be taken care of."

"Life comes at you fast." Hodges said.

Grissom nodded. " _Nationwide_ is on your side."

**Dell**

"I HATE THIS THING!" Sara Sidle yelled from the break room.

She picked up her laptop and threw it into the hall. It sailed over the head of her friend, Greg Sanders.

"Sara, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting down beside her.

"It's my computer, it freezes all the time and I hate those pop-ups." she said, putting her head in her hands.

"Sara, have you ever tried to get a _Dell_ computer?" Greg asked.

Sara shook her head from side to side. "No."

"Sara, _Dell _is one of the top-selling computers in the world. If you call their toll free number, you can have a computer personalized for you." Greg explained.

Sara quickly picked up her phone and dialed. "Yes, this is Sara Sidle. I would like to personalize a computer..."

Greg turned to the camera and smiled. " With _Dell _it's so easy to just pick up the phone. No more un-wanted programs or pop-ups. One call and you can have your very own personalized _Dell _shipped right to your door."

Sara smiled. "Dude, I want a _Dell."_

**Cheese**

"Ecklie, what are you doing in Grissom's office?" Nick Stokes asked.

Conrad Ecklie turned around and scoffed. " None of your business Stokes. Go away."

Nick stepped further into Ecklie's office and shut the door. "I'm afraid I can't do that Conrad."

"What? You gonna beat me up?" Ecklie asked with a grin.

"Maybe." Nick answered, taking a step forward.

"You can't do it Stokes." Ecklie laughed.

Suddenly, Nick's fist hit Conrad Ecklie in the nose. Ecklie flew back and landed in Grissom's chair, spinning around.

"Wow," Ecklie said holding his nose. "Where did you learn to hit like that?"

Nick smiled. "Behold the power of cheese."

**Febreeze**

"Gil, what's that smell?" Sara Sidle asked, taking a seat in his office.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear. Conrad Ecklie was just in here." Gil Grissom said, opening his bottom drawer and pulling a can of air spray.

He pointed into the air and held the nozzle with his finger and sprayed into the room. For a moment the horrible smell was gone, but then it returned.

"Gil, that's not going to work." Sara said, waving the air.

"I don't know what else to do." Grissom said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Try," Sara said smiling. "_Febreeze. " _She pulled a spray bottle from behind her back.

"Hmmm." Grissom said, taking the bottle.

"Just mist lightly over the furniture and that horrible stench should be taken care of." She said.

Grissom stood and pointed at the couch.

_Squirt squirt squirt_

"Mmmmm, I can smell the difference already." Sara said, smiling.

"_Febreeze,_ gets smells out of fabrics, for good." Grissom said with a smile.

**Eggo**

"Hey Greg, what are you cooking there?" Jim Brass asked, walking into the break room.

Greg stood straight. "Nothing; just my breakfast."

_POP_

Greg Sanders turned when he heard two waffles popped out of the toaster but before Greg could move, Jim Brass had swooped in and snatched waffles up.

"Thanks Sanders." Brass said, walking away.

Greg narrowed his eyes at the older man and stuck his leg out. Brass lost is balance and fell over Greg's leg.

"Whats the big deal?" Brass asked.

"Lego my _eggo._"Greg said, pouring syrup over his waffles.

**Verizon Wireless**

"Catherine, we're never going to find our way back." Nick Stokes said.

They had been called out a crime scene that was out of their jurisdiction, but since the town had no crime unit, they had decided to help. On the way back, they had gotten lost. Now Catherine Willows sat at the same crossroads that they had stopped at three times before.

"My cell phone has not service out here." Warrick Brown said, snapping his phone closed.

"Same here." Nick said.

"Mine works fine." Catherine said.

Both men turned to her, shocked.

"Catherine, I have _at&t_, how could yours be better?" Nick asked.

"And I have_ Sprint._" Warrick added.

Catherine looked at both men and pointed behind them.

"I have _Verizon wireless,_ I have a network that is with me 24/7." She said.

Behind them, a geeky man with glasses honked and waved.

"_Verizon wireless,_ join in." Catherine said.

**Klondike Bar**

"Hey, Sara?" Nick Stokes asked, walking into the locker room.

"Yeah." Sara Sidle answered.

"What would do for a _Klondike_ bar?" he asked, pulling out a _Klondike_ bar.

Sara stood puzzled for a moment. "I don't know." She said.

"Would you kiss Conrad Ecklie for a_ Klondike_ Bar?" He asked, grinning at the camera.

"Don't push it." Sara said, slamming her locker and grabbing the _Klondike_ bar.

"What would you do for a_ Klondike_ bar?" Hodges sang from the hall.

**Little Debbie**

"Griss looks kinda sad today." Cathrine observed.

Indeed Gil Grissom did look sad, he sat at the head of the table with his lip poked out.

"Well, it's lunch time. Maybe he'll perk up." Nick said.

The team went to the refrigerator one by one and pulled out their lunches.

The team watched as Grissom pulled out a brown paper sack and dumped it on the table. Suddenly, he smiled.

"What's he so happy about now?" Nick asked.

Sara Sidle walked into the room and patted Grissom on the back.

"I put a _Little Debbie_ in his lunch." She said, smiling.

Grissom smiled and held up his oatmeal pie. "_Little Debbie_, unwrap a smile."

**Windex**

"What are you laughing at Warrick?" Al Robbins asked.

The two men were standing in front of the DNA lab. Warrick was laughing uncontrollably at something. Suddenly Jim Brass approached, looked at the glass door and shook his head. He disappeared, then returned a few minutes later with a bottle of_ Windex, _he sprayed the door and wiped it clean and left.

"I don't get it." The Doc said.

"Just wait." Warrick said, giggling.

Just then Hodges jumped up from off the floor and ran towards the two men. He slammed himself face-first into the glass door and slid down, collapsing on the floor.

"_Windex_, now that really shines." Jim Brass called from down the hall.


End file.
